I'll handle my charm with time and slight of hand:

(I love that a carton someone left on the beach is behind me. Blue flag beach clearly...)

The weather was unreal this week so I went to the beach almost every day. Had to go to Asda and buy a bikini last minute because it was so hot, and because I looked like an idiot being one of the only people fully dressed. I don't think it's that bad of a bikini really, considering it was only about £8. My boobs had zero support and kept falling out of the bottom but you can't have everything eh? I thought people were checking me out but really they were staring at half of my left breast that was hanging everywhere. Still, doesn't count unless you see nipple or so I've heard. 

(I'm aware I look like a loon in this picture)

The first few times I went we sat in an empty bit of the beach and drank schnapps and Irn Bru which needs to be made in to a mainstream drink. I bought a glass on the way to add some class to what was clearly a very un-classy moment. The pictures don't do it justice but I'm sure you can imagine a drunken bikini clad girl on a beach. I felt like Snookie, which is never a good feeling. 

Someone even brought a jet ski. I really wonder why someone in the north of Scotland owns a jet ski in the first place but at least he got some use this week. It was like being on holiday except for all the drunk people, bottles and cigarette ends in the sand being a reminder that we were still in Scotland.

(White toes from tanning with ballet flats on)

Sunday at the beach was hilarious. My friend invited his friend, who then decided to make it a third date with some girl he knew from work. That was all well and good until we turned up and she was already on the beach with a kid we didn't know existed. I was carrying a bottle of schnapps and a load of san migueal, I was evidently not in the mood for a family day out down the beach. 

About three hours later I went to get food (see stagger drunkenly towards a burger) and an extra child asked me for candy floss. Good job I wasn't the designated responsible adult because I didn't even notice she had brought two children. A reminder that I should probably never have children. 

The girl he invited is Polish and speaks good english, but she can't understand strong accents. Gregor has the strongest Glaswegian accent imaginable and then there is me with a Geordie accent. The poor girl had no clue what was going on at any point. She wanted to know what Gregor's scar was from and he tried telling her he was stabbed. He had to do actions of someone stabbing someone else in the chest. She kept repeating "you were stabbed? you were stabbed? :0" and he just shrugged and said "don't go to Glasgow". He should work for the Glasgow tourist board clearly. 

(Actually when he got stabbed is a funny story. He was walking down the street and someone punched him in the chest and ran away. He was just like "wtf?" A few hours later he was at his Grandma's house having dinner and he took his jumper off. His Grandma screamed and said "your tshirt is covered in blood" and lifted it up "omg you've been stabbed I better take you to hospital". He said "well I'm still alive so it's clearly not going to kill me" and just got on with eating his tea. The first time I met him he said "ever been stabbed? I have" and showed me. This is how I make friends.)

Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Twitter:

I have twitter again. Woo. Follow me @stylefake_com because I'm lonely on there haha. Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Wake up:

I got a new tattoo because I think I'm cool. It's an awful picture from just after it was done but currently it's all scabby and gross so deal with it. It says "we're just a million little gods causing rain storms". It's from Wake Up by Arcade Fire, how hipster am I? Very is the answer you're looking for. I already have one just under my hip bone on my thigh that reads "let the less loving one be me" which is from the poem Mrs Beast by Carol Ann Duffy. Man I'm cool... Not.

It worryingly didn't hurt, the first and last letter did but everything else in the middle didn't feel of anything at all despite it being on my ribs. I might be a masochist because my palms didn't even sweat. I got fitted in just before closing so I just lay there watching some guy mop a floor. It was a weird moment.

Anyways on a different thread, see that mole underneath? I once thought it was skin cancer and went to the Doctors crying. This man is old and clearly has no time for bullshit. He looked annoyed and said "it's a mole". So I asked him to remove it and he said the scar from removing would be bigger than the mole and to get out because I was wasting his time.

 I got some new stuff for my room which is getting decorated in summer/autumn. I ate a curry in bed (don't judge) and spilled it on one of the pillows which is typical. The Russian dolls are my favourite purchase for a while, £1.50 in a charity shop. They have more inside but I don't have room at the moment to have them all out.

Also I'm thinking of getting a long haired chihuahua next year. I was planning on getting a pug but they look like they smell funny. I don't know why but every time I see one I don't want to touch it because they look smelly. Ewww :s.

Omg I have so much to say it's not even funny. I went on a few dates recently. Started liking him. He's now stopped talking to me out of nowhere, which is harsh because I'm one of the few normal girls in the world who is looking for a stage just up from fuck buddy but way below relationship. Good luck finding that with someone who isn't a smack whore. Men eh? (feminist rant goes here). I can't go in to details because the last time I wrote about someone on here they suspiciously "found" my blog like the day later.

Thanks for reading, Georgia.

You gotta love livin' baby:

I got these loafers a few month ago on Ebay and I can't find them again to buy the other colours or to buy a replacement pair. They got soaked when I was walking the dog and they have smelled funny ever since so I have to keep putting them in the freezer in a plastic bag :|. I'm actually gross. Why am I telling you this?

The other day I had a semi successful interaction with a man. I'm so proud. I'm not going to deny that it was awkward, but compared to my normal level of awkward around men it was pretty good. And I only managed to make a fool of myself once. He said "I've never known of a Georgia" and I said "It's quite a common name. Especially amongst porn stars ahhahaha.... Which I'm not ahahha... and erm.....*awkward silence*" WHY? Just why? :|

I find there is a fine line between keeping quiet so I don't open my mouth and say something awkward and being so quiet it's awkward anyway. Anyone else got zero skills when it comes to flirting? I've actually googled "how to flirt" before, and it still didn't work. I was just left with the shame of googling how to flirt.


Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaah no title:

OOOO haven't blogged in ages because no one even reads this any more so I just feel like I'm talking to myself haha.

I think I have a weird stalker. I go running every day (nothing hardcore just jogging/dying) and normally I see no one at all and run in constant fear that I'm about to be attacked. I'm always feared because I'm normally so exhausted from running that there is no way I could put up a decent fight.

Recently I noticed this boy about 14 year old stood staring at the fields. I don't mean to be rude but it's a strange place to be stood and you can just tell he isn't all there. Last week he started running along beside me. He didn't say a single word, and ran at a distance across from me where you could just think we both were at the same speed. Then at the end of my usual route when I stopped and stretched he patted me on the back and just walked away home. It was weird. Like so weird I was crying with laughter.

Anyway, this has happened a few times. And every time I just pretend he isn't there and keep running. He clearly isn't in to running because he is almost dead by the time I'm finished. He never says anything and just leaves at the end of my run.

Yeah so tonight I saw him in the distance waiting for me to pass so I turned and started walking the other direction (wasn't in the mood). I should have run away because he caught up with me and I had to have the most weird and awkward conversation I have ever had in my life as I walked/jogged back around my running route. He told me he comes down there to walk because he has no friends and it honestly broke my heart so I talked to him. So now he's my pal. He's still a creep though don't get me wrong.

Thanks for reading, Georgia.

"I spent most of it at the beach, I met a boy there"

If you don't get the Grease reference in the title then you are lame. But you will never be as lame as me, one for making that the title, and two for lying because I never meet boys (insert pathetic wail here).

I went out with my best friend Emma last week, it was one of my last days at my parents so we did one of my favourite things to do in the North East on a weekend.

• A browse of Tynemouth market in the morning (nice antiques and local food etc).
• Fish and chips lunch in Marshalls next to the Priory. 
• Ice cream from Deleval Ices (cherry cola mmm).
• A wander to a quiet beach to sit and talk for hours on end. 

Clearly it's a life of rock and roll that we lead... We would have been terrible cast in Geordie Shore. *narrator* "The guys are out on the toon getting on it like a car bonnet. Meanwhile Emma and Georgia are hunting for a matching milk jug for Georgia's tea set in Tynemouth market."

(I'm smirking because Emma's cross earrings were glinting in the light and I remembered a little girl complaining about how her shoes hurt and her Mam going "your shoes hurt eh? Well think about Jesus on that cross")

The weather was quite pleasant, although a lot cooler than it had been earlier in the week so we both dressed quite warm. My cousin said I was dressed like a middle-aged horse breeder which both made me laugh and cry. But you can see the evidence in the photos so yeah, can't really argue.

The nice beaches were packed with tourists so we headed up to the trampy quiet one and sat on a sand dune chatting for hours about everything and anything. I miss having someone to spend my weekends with in this way when I'm in Aberdeen (applications for beach friends can be submitted via email haha).

Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Shopping: Time for tea

(I have no idea why the pictures have went so blurry)

 I have been getting my tea set while I am home. We normally pass them through my family on wedding days but I wont be married for ages. I went to my gran's house to try and scrounge a tea set I had been drinking out of at my Grandad's funeral (cheerful I know) but it turns out it belongs to her friend and I can hardly turn up at her door and be like "hey, erm when you die can I have your tea set?" I did however say "Gran when you die can I have those glass bowls?" and she just gave me them on the spot. Win. She seemed pretty chuffed that someone was going to put them to use.

I was offered two full tea sets once people realised I was scrounging around for one, one which belonged to my Dad's Great Gran and one that was my Mam's Great Great Gran's. It turns out that I was only offered them because they are too hideous to bring out in public and they wanted rid of them. I didn't like either one so we had to go antiques shopping to find one.

I ended up buying three cups and saucers from three sets that I liked (one Royal Albert and two H.Aynsley and co sets) because I couldn't decide which I liked best, when I have chosen I can buy the full set. I think they came from a dead persons house because when he brought out the box for me to search for the matching saucer there was an old pension book and a 20 year old bus pass in the box. It was creepy but I would be lying if I said I didn't delve through this old dead dudes stuff because I'm nosey.

I have honestly never felt more English in my life than I did searching for a tea set. Afterwards we went and had quiche which made it even worse.

(My friend says family tea sets aren't very mainstream these days so sorry if this is weird or anything). (Omg didn't I see on Big Fat Gypsy Wedding that they get tea sets on their wedding, I'm honestly not a gypsy ahha.)


Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Edinburgh shopping trip:

Went to Edinburgh to meet my Mam, her friend, and her friends daughter on Saturday. Mostly went shopping and drank too much tea/coffee since we have all seen the touristy type things like 100x already.

We had lunch in Bella Italia which was alright, it was a nice place it was just overly packed with Americans who were really irritating. But what did I expect from a restaurant that is on the Royal Mile, arguably the most touristy place in Scotland?

Also had an afternoon tea and a scone in Jenners, we were in Jenners for over an hour while I stared at the tea sets trying to pick a large plate to put jewellery on. (This might be the most English thing I have ever said). I would have had a coffee but I got one from a dodgy Turkish place just after lunch and it was so strong I was still shaking like 3 hours later. It was the kind of dodgy cafe where you go to buy a girl for your white slavery ring. My Mam used the bathroom and apparently it was a room the size of a living room with a toilet in the corner and a bottle of bleach casually lying in the middle of the floor.

I also bought a few dresses in vintage shops which I will probably wear next week so I will take photos then. I was trying on almost everything, don't worry I didn't buy the pink dress that is photographed. It was so hideous with huge bell sleeves that I had to try it on, I quite liked it but no one else in the store did :(.

I went to buy a replacement padlock for my Louis Vuitton but I forgot errrg. Might just buy one on Ebay and deal with the increased price and the chance that it is fake.

Thanks for reading, Georgia.

Guest post: Beauty shines from the inside out.

Beauty Shines from the Inside Out
By: Jackie Clark

Cancer can do many things to a woman's body and appearance. Cancer can also lower a woman's self esteem by changing the way a woman thinks she should appear. Women with cancer, such as mesothelioma, may feel powerless to fight against this terrible prognosis. There is one way a woman can take back the power of her beauty from this disease. The way to do it is through the power of fashion.

For a woman with cancer to take her beauty back through fashion may seem like a simplistic idea. If we look back on the changes of fashion through time, it can be seen that woman have often let clothing, fashion, accessories, and makeup change their ideals of self perception and image. A well known example of this is the burning of the bra. This movement where women refused to wear bras was symbolic of women being frustrated with being bound down and tied up. It showed that women wanted to be free.

Fashion can be used for many other things. For example, women use it to symbolize their strength while fighting breast cancer, ovarian cancer, or mesothelioma. Fashion can also be a self-expression used by women to show that despite a terrifying prognosis and treatment from their doctor, women can remain strong and beautiful.

Several attempts may be made by women to find the style that they are comfortable with and also look great in. It doesn't matter if a woman feels great in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt or a haute couture gown. What does matter is how it makes the woman with cancer feel on the inside. If the woman with cancer feels that she looks good in an outfit, it will lift her mood and her self-confidence and strength will shine out to others.

The same technique should be used for hair and makeup. Women have the great prerogative to change their looks and with this prerogative come the ability to change the way they feel about themselves. By finding the hairstyle and cosmetic colors and applications that make them appear at their best, women can feel great about themselves and how they look. Again, their beauty and self-confidence will shine out to others.

Cancer does not have to be a death sentence on beauty. It can be a chance for a woman to examine her life and who she really is on the inside. With this knowledge, a woman can use fashion to help symbolize or show the outside world who she is from the inside out. A woman with cancer should not be as a patient, but a woman with who possesses a great amount of strength, courage, and beauty. By using fashion to look and feel her best, her self-confidence and beauty will be seen by others and herself.

[I hope you all enjoyed this lovely post from Jackie. For more information about this type of cancer then have a look at the website. Thank you Jackie :)]

Oh yeah, while I'm here:

Check out my new wallpaper I made. I even made little blank bits to put documents in that I would otherwise lose. Clearly the best waste of time ever.

The gender page is a note for Uni, I'm not planning on a sex change or anything. I would make a terrible woman (this isn't even slightly funny which is why I'm laughing so hard at myself). Actually I was about to tell you all a joke but the cleanest joke I know is about necrophilia.

I'm thinking of getting a wireless keyboard to use pages on my Iphone in uni. Anyone else done this? I'm not sure how great it would be, I just refuse to lug my mac around any longer and I spent the money I saved for an ipad on women and drugs. Actually I spent it on whiskey and clothes I think.

Thanks for reading, Georgia.